I had my needle, my yarn, my cross-stitch fabric. What more did I need?
(Maybe a little more). I watched a few youtube videos and read some tutorials, but I quickly got frustrated. Everyone had their own way of cross-stitching, and instead of being helpful, it just made me more confused. I was not sure how to even start, let alone continue.
The first rule I came across was to start from the center of the pattern to gauge how much fabric will be needed, but I decided that would be annoying. I did not want to go back later and redo the left side, so I ignored that advice. Next, I decided to fully disregard the pattern that came with my kit. It felt too complicated for a beginner like me. Instead, I sketched a sheep onto the fabric with a pencil and decided to go from there.
I was setting myself up for a long list of mistakes. But I also knew exactly what I was doing; I was allowing myself to say “good enough” and keep going. I was not letting the fear of perfection keep me from creating.
Between 1989 and 2016, levels of perfectionism in college students increased significantly with socially driven pressure rising even quicker. (Jessica A. Kent). Allowing perfectionism to control your life negatively affects your mental health, slows you down, and prevents you from actually achieving ‘perfectionism.’ Growing up, I was definitely in that same boat. But recently, I decided I no longer wanted to be part of this statistic.
Instead, I looked to the great Bob Ross and his words.
“We don’t make mistakes, we have happy accidents. Because very soon, you learn to work with anything that happens here. When you get over the fear of making mistakes, then it becomes fun.”
I realized that if I had spent an hour trying to figure out the “correct” way to cross-stitch or forced myself to follow an intricate pattern, I would not have had fun. I might not have even picked up the needle at all. So instead, I chose the path where I would make mistakes but allow me to actually begin.
Everything that followed either went according to plan… or became a happy accident.
What went according to plan:
I stitched rows from left to right, bringing the needle from bottom left to top right. Then, I went back across from right to left, stitching from bottom right to top left (The Danish Method). The results were neat and satisfying X’s.
Of course, sometimes I pulled the thread through the wrong holes and had to retrace my steps to fix it.
‘Happy Accidents’:
I ran out of a certain color thread multiple times, and I had to adjust my design accordingly each time.
I did not follow any one technique for switching threads or colors. Sometimes I tied a knot, other times I secured the thread by weaving it under stitches in the back before trimming the excess. It depended entirely on how I was feeling with that particular thread.
I did not use the parking method or any structured approach for color changes, so the back of my work started looking… a little messy.
Eventually, I decided to just stop caring about how the back looked.
And through all of this, I found my own makeshift system. A system that made the process fun for me, even if it was a ‘mistake’ and imperfect to someone else. I also became more comfortable handling the needle and thread, learning how to correct errors as I went.
And with my cross-stitch project, yes, the sketch was messy. The sheep turned out… abnormal. And soon enough, the grass, trees, and flowers followed suit in its abnormal nature.
But I like to think that was just another funny, happy accident.
Because now, I have captured a strange little sheep in a strange little world. It now makes me laugh and smile more than any ‘perfect’ thing I could have made.
Check out these links:
My Video: YouTube
Inspiration: Article on Perfectionism & Bob Ross Clip
How To’s: Danish Stitch & Parking Technique