As a woman, I was built to appreciate and chase beauty. The beauty in others, the beauty in myself, and even the beauty in making myself beautiful.
As a little girl, I watched as my mother sorted through her jewelry and painted her nails. Before every vacation, I asked my mother to put some color on my nails as well.
As a teenager, I noticed other girls who put on makeup and dressed in pretty clothes. I went to the same stores and bought trendy clothes.
As an adult, I realized how much importance I have put in my outer beauty. I wondered if it was my flaw, my vanity, my fault. But I thought a bit more of what was being fed to my mind.
I see boys telling women how they want them to look. I hear women asking other women why they don’t get their nails done every month. I get suggested the newest and best skincare and makeup products. I receive ads for shapewear to keep women’s bodies in unnatural forms. I admire the pretty celebrities who spend more than my rent to make themselves beautiful and wonder why I am not as beautiful. I watch some injecting themselves with chemicals to avoid a hint of aging. I notice trends, all tailored to capitalize on insecurities.
And then, one day, my mood is low, and I come across a shiny thing in a store. A pretty necklace. And then I ask myself, why do you really need so many shiny things? Will one more shiny thing really make you that happy? And for how long will it make you happy before you find a new shiny thing? I buy the necklace anyways.
And it does feel nice. It feels nice to delicately place the necklace on my neck. To watch it sparkle. To admire it in the mirror in between my mundane tasks. But soon, the novelty wears off, and I no longer find the joy in my purchase. It only felt nice for a moment.
Instead, as I place it in the sunlight to see it sparkle, I notice the light refracting from the gems it holds. I then notice the colors of the sunlight, twisting around my room. I feel the sun beaming on my arms and legs and feel the warmth spread through me. For a brief, spectacular moment, I find pure, true, endless, timeless beauty in the sunlight.
A beauty that is never out-of-style, a beauty that outlives me and you, a beauty that will be here once all the materials mankind has left behind is deteriorated and turned to nothing.
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